Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
