I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
