Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
