i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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