Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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