There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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