i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
