Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
