im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize