The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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