used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
