I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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