he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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