So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
