I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
