I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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