apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
