Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Green mimosas i think yes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
