We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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