Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
