but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish there were birth control emojis
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
