If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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