I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize