I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
