So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize