I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
