using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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