he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
