we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
