Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
