Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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