whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
