I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
