I wish my penis had an off switch
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
