I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
