took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
