So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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