so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
