ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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