So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
