it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
