he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
