She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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