What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just cut my nipple shaving
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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