so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
