in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I love having hate sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
