Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize