You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
