I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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