the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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