Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
