I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
