He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
