he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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